When I decided to set up my own server my only Linux experience was experimenting with regular Ubuntu. So Ubuntu server was the closest thing to it, and I figured I would have to re-learn fewer commands. It’s also been my impression that because a lot of inexperienced folks like me start with Ubuntu, that’s where the most beginner-friendly instructions are likely to be. I didn’t really know what Debian was.
The way you describe Ubuntu as asking you to do more under the hood, and you seeing it as adjusting settings, really rings true to me. Often I find myself frustrated at having to jump through so many hoops to do simple stuff. I like learning to use Linux but sometimes I just don’t have the time for it