Except that’s still a SQL dialect, not JSX. There’s no need to make this JSX.
Option 1
Can you run pixelfed without federation?
The battery is usually long gone by the time it becomes a server though.
Really old laptops have PCMCIA slots too that you can hook into newer interfaces. I used a PCMCIA eSATA card for a laptop NAS!
So you mean like parameterized queries, which exist?